28- A Woman Has Needs

A Woman Has Needs 

Wally asked Anita how her daughter Heather was doing. Heather had always been a dutiful, loving daughter. She got married about 10 years ago, at the age of 23. It was the first marriage for her and her husband Ben. They had two kids. Everything seemed fine, even though Heather was the only one working. Ben had gotten laid off two years ago. He was still looking for work. They were fortunate because Heather’s grandma loved her to death. She had bought a house for Heather as a wedding gift, so Ben and Heather had no mortgage to pay. Not one penny. Grandma asked only that Heather call her twice a month. Recently, grandma had asked Anita what was wrong with Heather. Anita said she didn’t understand—nothing was wrong. “Then why hasn’t she called?” grandma asked. Anita said she would talk to Heather. She left several messages, but Heather didn’t call back. Anita drove over to the house. Ben was home, taking care of the kids. “Where’s Heather?” Anita asked. “She went to the beach,” Ben told her. “Without you and the kids?” Ben was reluctant to talk, but he did. Heather had started smoking again. Even worse, she had found a boyfriend. She had met this guy at work, and things got out of hand. Ben didn’t know what to do. If he filed for divorce, he might be out on the street with two kids to support. If he didn’t get a divorce, he had to live with the humiliation of being supported by a wife who was cheating on him. Anita was astounded at her daughter’s selfish actions. She drove home and called her mom. Grandma said that hopefully it was just a phase that Heather was going through. She told Anita to make sure to remind Heather to call.

27- A Walk in the Wild

A Walk in the Wild 

Bill parked his car on the residential street. The street used to be safe, but now there were frequent reports in the weekly paper about break-ins. He put The Club on his steering wheel and made sure that nothing of value—not even a pair of cheap sunglasses—was visible through the car windows. He got out of the car and started the uphill walk. The mountain trail was mostly narrow for the first two miles. Only two people could walk side by side. When the trail got close to the edge of the mountainside, it was best if people walked single file. Several years ago, an experienced hiker, walking alone, slipped and fell to his death. The trail went past a small lake created by a dam, and then broadened as it went up into the heart of the mountain, away from cliffs. When Bill got to First Camp, he stopped by the small stream to look for fish or frogs. Suddenly, he heard a sinister rattling sound. Then, he felt a sharp bite on his calf. He turned around in time to see a rattler slithering off. There was nothing to do now but walk back down to his car. He had no cell phone with him. He would remember to bring it next time, if there was a next time. Should he walk slowly, so the poison would spread slowly? Or should he walk fast, so he could get to his car and get medical help faster? Perhaps he’d meet someone on the way down. A simple walk, he thought. It was just going to be a simple walk up a mountain trail.

26- A Visit to Asia

A Visit to Asia

 

Liz was excited. She was going to Asia with her mom. Neither of them had ever traveled out of the United States before. They were going to fly to Hong Kong. After staying in Hong Kong for three nights, they would travel on their cruise ship to Shanghai and Beijing. "Beijing is inland, so we have to take about a two-hour bus ride to get there from the port. I forget the name of the port. Anyway, we're going to see the Great Wall, the Tiananmen Square, and the Forbidden City. It’s going to be so cool!" she told her neighbor Jane. From China, the cruise ship would go to Pusan in South Korea, and finally to Tokyo. From Tokyo, they would catch a flight back to Los Angeles. "The trip is going to last three weeks. It's only going to cost us $2,800 each, IF we can control our urge to shop," she laughed. "I hope your trip is more fun than mine was," said Jane. "I took a cruise to the Bahamas, but almost all the passengers got sick. I caught some kind of virus that made me throw up for almost three days. They gave us a discount that we could use on a future trip. Ha! No more cruising for me." "We've heard about those disasters," said Liz. "Mom and I are going to be washing our hands every 30 minutes, and we're bringing surgical masks with us."

25- A Trip to Egypt

A Trip to Egypt 

Roy wanted to visit Egypt two years ago. But while he was checking out different tour packages, an airplane crashed into the Atlantic. The plane was an Egypt Air flight from New York to Cairo. It had no sooner gotten airborne than it dove straight down into the ocean, killing all on board. There was a great deal of investigation into the crash, but the final conclusion, made after recovering the black box, was that the copilot had decided to take his life, along with all the passengers and crew. Pat told Roy to forget about flying to Egypt. As his wife of 50 years, she wouldn’t permit it. If he wanted to see the pyramids, she said, he could rent a video or google the pyramids online. Two years went by, and no further crashes occurred. One day Roy told Pat that he was going to Egypt, with or without her approval. He asked her if she wanted to go with him. She said no, thank you—she didn’t have a death wish “like someone I know.” Roy said that the plane crashed two years ago—she worried too much. He said he was also making a side trip to Israel. Pat said, “Go ahead. I’ll call the funeral parlor so they know you’ll be dropping by.” Roy laughed. He said there was a greater chance of dying in a car accident in their own neighborhood than of being killed by terrorists in Egypt or Israel. “Yes,” Pat said, “but we have to drive around our neighborhood to do our errands. We don’t have to go to Egypt and Israel. You’re just tempting fate.”

24- A Shower Injury

A Shower Injury  

 

Ben leaned over the edge of the tub. He turned on the hot and cold water faucets. The water came out of the spout near the top of the tub. He pushed down on the lever beneath the spout so that the water would drain. He was going to take a shower, not a bath. He tested the temperature. It wasn’t hot enough. He adjusted the hot water faucet. There was another handle between the hot and cold faucets. This one controlled whether water came out of the spout or out of the shower head. Ben turned it all the way to the right. Now hot water was coming out of the shower head. The temperature was just right. Ben took off his robe and stepped over the top of the tub. He pulled the shower door closed. He grabbed the bar of soap out of the soap dish and started scrubbing his face. While his eyes were closed to keep out the soap, he put the soap back into the dish. Then he reached for the big plastic container of shampoo on his window ledge. The bottle slipped out of his hands and landed on his left foot. "Shoot!" Ben said angrily. That hurt.

23- A School Girl Sues Her School

A School Girl Sues Her School   

 

A straight-A student got a C in cooking class and didn't like it. She didn't like it so much that her dad filed a complaint in federal court about it. He alleges that the teacher, who is white, discriminated against his daughter, who is black. He seeks to have her grade changed from a C to an A and asks for unspecified financial damages. Virginia Brown is in the ninth grade at Ashley High School. Since her first year in school, she has had perfect attendance and all her grades have been A's. Virginia's father said her heart was broken when she got the C. "She cried the whole weekend," he said. "She wouldn't come out of her room. Her eyes were red and puffy. My little girl hasn’t been this upset since her cat got run over by a car when she was 6 years old." Virginia is a model student. She's the class president. She's on the swim team, the volleyball team, and the track team. She belongs to the chess club. She is a member of the Girl Scouts and sings in her church choir. The home economics teacher is 28-year-old Jessica Smith. This is her first year teaching. Ms. Smith said that discrimination was absolutely not the issue. “Some of my best friends are African-Americans," she said. “This isn’t a black and white problem. Everybody in America wants to sue everybody else. I’m going to sue them for defamation of character and whatever else my lawyer comes up with.” The school principal, who grew up in India, said that he supported Ms. Smith 100 percent. He said that Virginia is an excellent student who would have no problem getting into the best universities even with a C in cooking. “She won’t have any difficulty finding a great university, but she might have problems finding a husband,” he laughed. “She’d better look for a man who likes to eat out a lot.”

22- A Practical Joke

A Practical Joke

 

On craigslist.com, a “Sheldon” wrote that he was moving. “I’m starting a new life, and I don’t want anything that reminds me of my old life,” Sheldon announced on the website. Giving his address, he invited everyone to visit his apartment on April 19 from 8 to noon: “Take whatever you want; it’s all free.” When the real Sheldon returned from his morning shift at the hospital that day, he was surprised to find his apartment door unlocked. He was shocked to find his apartment stripped clean. I’ve been robbed, he thought. He knocked on his neighbor’s door. Virgil told Sheldon that he had seen strangers coming and going that morning. When Virgil asked them what was going on, one said that Sheldon was giving all his belongings away. “I wish you had told me,” Virgil said. “When I went into your apartment, there was nothing good left.” Sheldon explained that he hadn’t told Virgil about the giveaway because he hadn’t known about it himself. Virgil said that he saw Pamela inside the apartment; she seemed to be in charge of things. “My ex-girlfriend Pamela?” Sheldon asked. “My angry ex-girlfriend Pamela?” “Ex? When did you two break up?” Virgil asked. They had dated for two years. Pamela had left him just recently. She had seen Sheldon standing with a woman in the parking lot. Sheldon had told her it was only his coworker. “Your coworker? Is it normal for coworkers to kiss in the parking lot?” Pamela asked. Sheldon said that he wasn’t kissing his coworker. She had simply asked him to smell her breath to be sure her breath smelled okay. She had eaten garlic bread at lunch. As Pamela stormed away, Sheldon heard her say something about getting even.