48- Blood Drive at Civic Center

Blood Drive at Civic Center 

The local university blood center had a blood drive today at the Civic Center auditorium. Almost 300 people showed up, but about 50 were turned away for various medical reasons. Fifty others left because the lines were moving so slowly. The event concluded at 6 p.m., three hours after the scheduled close. It was a long day for everyone administrators, nurses, and donors. But there were plenty of chairs and tables, and many people brought their own books, magazines, or newspapers. The first thing the donors had to do, of course, was fill out the donor registration and screening form. When they finished filling out the form, they waited until a nurse called them to her desk. The average adult body contains 8 to 12 pints of blood. Donors can give one pint at a time. It takes your body 2 to 4 weeks to replace this amount. Most donors filled up the pint bag within 5 to 10 minutes. Before leaving, the donors received a sheet of instructions including: Do not lift any heavy objects for 12 hours. Leave your pressure bandage on for 2-3 hours. Do not smoke for at least 30 minutes. Avoid alcohol for the rest of the day. Do not do any strenuous activity for 24 hours. "I wish I could hug and kiss all the volunteers that are here today," said Martha, the blood center donor recruiter. "Many donors underestimate the importance of what they're doing. They think it is no big deal, but it is a big deal. Their blood is actually saving lives, helping other people to live. We cannot thank them enough for that, nor can the recipients.”

47- Black Friday

Black Friday 

The day after Thanksgiving has become America’s wildest shopping day. Closed all day on Thursday, chain stores all across the nation open early on Friday. Some stores open at 12:01 Friday morning, while others open at 4 a.m. Some “sleepyhead” stores, like Target this year, don’t open their doors on Friday until 6 a.m. From Friday to the day before Christmas, this is the season when businesses make as much as 25 percent of their annual revenue. This season puts many businesses “in the black” that is, into profitability for the year. Reporters from local TV stations interview people who camp out in front of stores a day or two before the doors open on Friday. These people patiently wait in line to get products that are discounted 50 percent or more. “Oh, we have fun,” said one camper. “We bring games to play, we watch TV and order lots of pizza, and we meet interesting people. And, most important of all, we save big bucks!” The catch, of course, is that only a very small number of products are available at the largest discounts. Regardless, each store has plenty of other items that are reduced from 10 to 50 percent—saving shoppers from $10 to $400 per item—to entice Americans to shop. Not all Americans appreciate this frenzy of shopping. Reverend William Graham, pastor of the Church of the Risen Jesus, wants to rename Black Friday. “We want to call it Remember Jesus Friday. People should start the season with the right attitude. Christmastime has become a Season of Shopping. We want to make it a Season of Giving. And we don’t mean giving IPods, DVDs, flat screen TVs, and other crap. We mean giving your back, your mind, and your hands. Help an old lady clean up her house. Teach a kid how to read. Visit sick people in the hospital or in nursing homes. Pick up the trash in your neighborhood. Give blood to the Red Cross. Do volunteer work for charities. Celebrate Christmas by remembering Jesus and forgetting Santa Claus.”

46- Betting Big in Vegas

Betting Big in Vegas 

Jasper's parents were going to Las Vegas for a week. The last time they were there was 10 years ago. The city had changed greatly in those 10 years. For one thing, the all you can eat buffets were $15, instead of $3. And traffic was much worse, of course. But now Las Vegas had a monorail that stopped at all the major hotels. No more walking in the hot sun (or the bitterly cold wind, if you visited Las Vegas in the winter). Jasper's dad loved the buffets. "Even at $15, he'll still eat $20 or $30 worth," Jasper's mom said. Jasper asked his dad what games he was going to play. Blackjack, he replied, if he could find a $2 table. Jasper told him that he might have to go downtown to a real old casino. Most casinos, he said, require a $5 minimum nowadays. That didn't surprise his dad. After he lost a hundred dollars, he was finished anyway, he said. He was never one to throw good money after bad. Jasper's mom had no use for anything except slot machines. She loved the slots, as long as she could find nickel machines and dime machines. "Are any of those left?" she asked Jasper. He said he wasn't sure, but there had to be some, somewhere. She said she was going to play differently on this visit: she would wait till someone used a machine for at least 15 minutes. Then she would play that machine when that person got up and left. Maybe, she hoped, the jackpot would hit on the first nickel that she put in. That's a good idea, Jasper thought. Unfortunately, it's the same trick that everyone who plays the slot machines does. And almost everyone goes home broke.

45- Better To Be Unlucky

Better To Be Unlucky 

Sam, an unemployed piano tuner, said it was only the second thing he had ever won in his life. The first thing was an Afghan blanket at a church raffle when he was 25 years old. But this was much bigger: it was $120,000! He had won the Big Cube, a state lottery game. To win, a contestant must first guess which number a spinning cube will stop on. The cube has six numbers on it: 1X, 10X, 50X, 100X, 500X, and 1000X. If he is correct, the contestant must then guess which of two selected variables is going to be greater. So, just guessing which number appears on the cube does not guarantee that you will win any money. Sam correctly guessed 1000X, but he still had to choose between two variables. One variable was the number of cars that would run the stop sign at Hill Street and Lake Avenue in six hours. The other variable was the number of times that a teenage boy would change TV channels in a three-hour period. This was a tough decision. Finally, Sam flipped a coin. It came up heads, so Sam picked the teenager. He picked right. The stop sign was run only 76 times, but the teen clicked 120 times. Sixty-year-old Sam jumped for joy, for he had just won 1000 times 120, or $120,000. Sam dreamily left the lottery studio. Talking excitedly on his cell phone while crossing the street, he got hit by a little sports car. Sam is slowly getting better. He was in the hospital for a month. His hospital bill was $110,000. And the insurance company for the little sports car’s owner sued Sam for $9,000 worth of repairs. Also, Sam still has to pay federal taxes on his winnings. Sam doesn’t play the state lottery any more. He says it’s better to be unlucky.

44- Beautiful Teacher Smiles, then Walks Away

Beautiful Teacher Smiles, then Walks Away 

 

 

The annual teachers’ meeting was the only time that all the teachers got together in one place at one time. It was a 3-hour meeting, from 7 to 10 p.m. Lecturers talked on various subjects. Each talk was followed by a question and answer period. It was an informal, pleasant evening. The evening always began with a delicious dinner catered by a local restaurant. This year’s host was a Middle Eastern restaurant. Teachers piled as much as they wanted on their paper plates and found a seat outdoors or in the auditorium. Most teachers really seemed to appreciate the food. For Shane, this evening was his opportunity to check out the female teachers. This year, a beauty walked into the auditorium about 10 minutes late. She sat in the row in front of Shane, just two seats away. Shane couldn’t believe it. She was not only the best-looking woman in the auditorium, but she smiled at him before she sat down. She was tall and had long red hair. She was wearing a sexy black cocktail dress. Shane could not focus on the meeting anymore. He looked at the lecturers less than he looked at the redhead. He was enveloped in her perfume. She took notes right-handed. She ran her fingers through her hair. She crossed and uncrossed her legs. Shane was going crazy. Plus, there was no ring on her left hand. The meeting ended. The dean thanked everyone for attending. Everybody applauded the presenters. The redhead stood up. Shane stood up. She smiled at him, and then walked out. Shane walked out. She went to the restroom. Shane waited. When she came out, he walked up to her. “Hi,” he smiled. “My name’s Shane. I was wondering if you have time for a cup of coffee. I was hoping we could share some of our teaching experiences.” She smiled. “Why, thank you. That’s sweet of you. I appreciate your offer, but I’ve got to get home. My husband is babysitting tonight, and I’m sure he’s pretty tired. Maybe another time?” She smiled, and walked away.

43- Bathtub Blues

Bathtub Blues 

A middle-aged man with a long beard was arrested by the police for disorderly conduct and property damage. “More charges might be added later,” said a police officer. The man, identified as Bill Wild, checked into the Motel Five last night about an hour after sunset. Telling the clerk that he would be staying four nights, he paid cash in advance. He then asked her where a grocery store was. She said that the nearest grocery store was John-Johns, which was only two blocks away. The police said that Wild went to John-Johns and purchased three gallons of honey and four gallons of chocolate syrup. The checker asked him what the occasion was. He replied, “I’m trying to become a sweeter person.” The checker smiled at the joke. Wild drove back to the motel. He opened all seven containers and poured them into the bathtub. He added warm water to the mix. Then he placed his boom box on the bathroom floor next to the tub. He tuned the radio to an opera station. He got undressed, hopped into the tub, and started singing loudly with the music. Fifteen minutes later, the lodgers in the room next door phoned the clerk. She banged on Wild’s door, but he kept singing. She phoned his room, but he didn’t answer. Then she called the police, who arrived quickly. “Well, at least he paid in advance,” said the clerk. “That money will help pay for the plumber.” The bathtub drain was completely clogged. The tub remained full of chocolate and honey. “You just never know about people,” said the clerk. “He seemed so nice and friendly. Who’d have thought he was a bathtub-singing nut?” The police said this was the third time that Wild had been arrested for this kind of behavior.

42- Bank Robbery

Bank Robbery

It was 80 degrees in the shade. A man wearing a heavy army jacket, a pullover wool cap, and dark sunglasses walked into the First American Bank at the corner of Maple and Main streets in downtown Short Beach. The man walked up to the teller and held up a hand grenade for all to see. He said, “Give me all your money, all the money in this bank, right now!” Everyone in the lobby screamed and started running, even the security guard. Nervously, the young female teller handed the man three big bags loaded with cash. He walked out the door. A second later, one of the money bags exploded, covering him with red dye. He yelled in pain and surprise, and started pacing around in circles because he couldn't see where he was going. He couldn’t see, but he could hear. He heard the police siren get closer. Then he heard the police tell him to get down on his stomach on the sidewalk and put his hands behind his back. They handcuffed him and placed him in the back of the police car. Seeing the hand grenade on the sidewalk, the police told everyone to get back. They sealed off the whole block and called the bomb squad. The bomb squad came and examined the hand grenade. Then they laughed. They told the police it was a fake. The hand grenade was actually a harmless dummy, something a 12-year-old might play with. The police chuckled. The bank employees returned to work. The bank customers returned to their lines. The bank robber, hopefully, would never return.

41- Bad Weed, Bad Call

Bad Weed, Bad Call 

Boy, this is the worst weed I’ve ever had, Wesley thought, even though it smelled great. He’d rolled two joints, smoked them both, and still didn’t feel high. He’d heard about some super weed that gets people so high that they think they’re straight. Maybe this was super weed. Naw, he thought. This is just crap. His best buddy had ripped him off! There was only one thing to do: call the police. Wesley told the police his problem. They said they would be right over. He went to the front door and unlocked it. Slowly, he printed Buster’s phone number and address on a cigarette paper. He put it into the big baggie of grass. He wondered if his call was going to make TV news. Or maybe the front page of the newspaper: “Good Citizen Turns in Drug Dealer.” Wow! The city might make him an honorary deputy sheriff. He lit another joint—maybe the third one would be the charm ... He heard the car doors closing and the footsteps approaching. All right, he thought. He wondered if they had brought a television crew with them. Maybe he’d make the 11 o’clock news. The police were very polite. They thanked him for Buster’s phone number and address. Then they arrested Wesley. “What for?” he protested. “For possessing more than 28 grams of pot,” an officer replied. “But this isn’t pot—it’s more ‘not’ than ‘pot.’ Why do you think I called you—I got ripped off!” “Well, we’ll see about that after the lab analyzes it. If you’re both lucky, you did get ripped off.”

40- Bad Pork

Bad Pork 

What’s that smell, Nadine wondered. She had bought a big piece of pork from the market four hours ago. As always, she smelled the pork after the butcher handed it to her. It had smelled fine. But now, it didn't. She cut into the other side of the pork and took another sniff. Annoyed, she wrapped up the pork, grabbed her receipt, and drove back to the market. She went up to the same butcher who had handed her the pork that morning. She asked him to smell the pork. He said that it smelled okay and gave it back to her. She told him to call the manager of the meat department. The manager came out a minute later. Nadine told him about the pork. She also told him that he needed to hire butchers who had better noses. He smelled the pork. “Phew,” he said. He apologized to Nadine. Then he spoke to the butcher, who said he couldn’t smell anything because he had a cold. “You have a cold and you’re handling meat and fish? Go home!” The manager turned back to Nadine, apologized again, and told her she could have a full refund. She gave him the pork and thanked him. She inspected a couple of fresh trout and had them wrapped up. She went to the cashier at the front of the market, got her refund for the pork, paid for the fish, and walked out. While she was getting into her car, the manager told another butcher to grind up the pork with a little lime juice and sell it at a 20-percent discount.

39- Bad News, Good News

Bad News, Good News 

 

“My period started today,” Ruth said. Brody could hear her sadness over the phone. “Oh, I’m sorry, honey. That’s too bad,” Brody said. Until now, they both had assumed that she was pregnant, because her period was supposed to start three weeks ago. Brody had mixed feelings about the news. On the one hand, he knew that Ruth wanted a baby more than anything else in the world. So, he naturally wanted her to be pregnant and happy. In fact, he wanted a kid as much as she did. He would love to have a son, so he could teach him how to avoid all the stupid mistakes Brody had made in his own life. On the other hand, he had just read about a new study that said the cost of raising a child was now $225,000. And that was just through high school. College was an additional expense. Right now, the average cost of attending a public university was $6,000 a year--if the student lived at home. Eighteen years from now, how much would it be? Brody and Ruth had only $50,000 in savings, not even enough for a down payment on a nice house. Plus, neither of them had health insurance. Premiums for insuring themselves and the baby would cost at least $400 a month, not to mention the deductibles and co-pays. “You worry about money too much,” Ruth had once told him. “Look at you—your parents raised you and five more kids, and they were making much less than we are making now.” “That’s true,” Brody agreed. “But things were a lot different then.”

38- Bad Dreams

Bad Dreams 

“I had another bad dream,” she told her fiancé. “It was about you again. You and your ex-girlfriend were kissing. I yelled at you to stop it. You looked right at me, and then you laughed at me! She laughed, too. Then you both went back to kissing. I tried not to watch, but when I covered my eyes, something pulled my hands away. I tried to leave, but my feet were glued to the ground. Finally, I woke up. Of course, it was very difficult to get back to sleep. “I had to drive home from Las Vegas this morning. It’s a wonder I didn’t crash 50 times. Instead of seeing traffic in front of me, all I saw was you and her. I can’t take any more dreams like this. We’re going to have to break up. We can be friends, but just friends. That way, I won’t be jealous anymore, and I won’t have these bad dreams anymore.” “Why didn’t you call me up and tell me about your dream?” he asked. “They say that the more you talk about bad dreams, the sooner you’ll stop having them.” She disagreed. She thought that the only solution was to break up and be just friends. She loved him, but these dreams had become so frequent that she was actually afraid to go to sleep. She was losing weight and having stomachaches from the stress. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted her to have pleasant dreams. He wanted her to have a life without stress. He wanted her to be his wife. This was it, she repeated; if she had just one more bad dream, they were through. He squeezed her hand, but said nothing.

37- Avoid the Flu

Avoid the Flu 

Flu season occurs annually in countries that have cold weather in the winter. Although the influenza virus is alive throughout the world in all four seasons, it seems to have its greatest impact on humans during the winter. Scientists are not sure why. They think it’s because in the winter people are indoors and close together for longer periods of time. Also, the virus might be able to live longer and be stronger in colder weather. Finally, indoor air can dry up the mucous that helps protect people from the virus. In the U.S., the virus is not something to sneeze at. It kills about 36,000 people annually (most of them elderly). It also causes almost 250,000 people to end up in a hospital bed annually. Scientists develop a preventive flu shot for people to take as winter begins. This shot is not guaranteed to prevent flu; scientists can only guess at which virus might be the most dangerous in the upcoming season. The shot protects against only that particular virus. For those who do not get the shot, influenza spreads among them easily. It takes only a sneeze, a cough, or a touch. Victims frequently get ill from shaking hands, opening doors, or handling money. Most infected people will have a fever, sore throat, and cough. But the symptoms are often mild and last for only a week. For many others, however, symptoms can be so severe and prolonged that victims end up in bed for weeks, or in the hospital, or in the cemetery.

36- Are Criminals Taking Over LA?

Are Criminals Taking Over LA? 

A 29-year-old woman was driving her car in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was fatally wounded by a couple of stray bullets. The bullets were intended for a 20-year-old man, who was seriously wounded by two other bullets. The shootings occurred an hour before sunset, a mile west of downtown Los Angeles. Two gang members attempted to rob the 20-year-old man. The victim punched one of his attackers, knocking him down, and then took off running. As he ran, the gangsters fired several times and struck him in the back. They also put a couple of errant shots into the head of the woman driver. Mortally wounded, she crashed through the big glass window of a salon, coming to a stop at the hair-washing sinks. Fortunately, the salon was closed because its owner was at a family funeral. His nephew had been stabbed to death by a gang member a week earlier. The gang member, who was robbing the nephew, got angry when all he found in the nephew’s wallet was a dollar, an ID card, and a library card. “A library card!” the gang member said angrily. “You think you're smarter than me? If you're so smart, why are you getting robbed?” He then stabbed the victim multiple times, ripped up the library card, spit on it, and ran away. “This city’s getting ridiculous,” said a local neighborhood watch member. “Criminals are killing people almost every day. They laugh at us. They know that, even if convicted, they will get free housing, free meals, and free medical care. And they get to sit around in jail all day reading magazines! That’s punishment? It sounds more like a reward! What do the rest of us get for being HONEST? We get to work hard all day so we can die tired and poor.”

35- Another Jealous Girlfriend

Another Jealous Girlfriend 

Scott was sound asleep when the phone rang. "Are you awake?" Jolene shouted. Scott mumbled something. How could he still be asleep, she asked. It was almost noon. He told her that he hadn't gone to sleep until 6 a.m. Jolene told him to get up, and come pick her up. They had to go to the store to return the birthday gift he had given her. It was a tangerine plant. The leaves were curling up. It was going to die, she said. "Curling leaves means the plant is going to die?" Scott asked. Of course, she told him. "Look, honey," he asked, "let me go back to sleep for one hour, okay? Then I'll come pick you up." Jolene wondered why he needed one hour. Was he expecting a phone call from his ex-girlfriend? No, he patiently tried to explain, he just wanted to get another hour of sleep. But he could not sleep anymore. Once Jolene mentioned anything about Amy, he'd better get over there quickly. Scott broke up with Amy five years ago. Now they were just friends. But, Amy still loved him. That wasn't a problem for Scott, until Jolene found out about it. If Amy still loved Scott, Jolene figured that they just might get back together. She can recognize a dying plant but not a dead love affair, Scott grumbled as he rolled out of bed.

34- An Unhappy Worker

An Unhappy Worker 

She was a big, homely, overweight young woman, in her late 20s, maybe. No ring on her finger, so she was probably single. In fact, judging from her unfriendly demeanor, she probably had no boyfriend. And unless she started dieting and exercising regularly, she would probably remain unattached. Vivian asked her to make sure to remove the plastic tag from each article of clothing that Vivian was buying at Marshall's. The woman looked at Vivian but said nothing. Not "yes, ma'am," not "of course," not "no problem." She yanked each shirt off its hanger, removed each tag, and folded each shirt quickly but carelessly. Even though the building was air-conditioned, her forehead had beads of sweat. Occasionally she wiped the sweat off with the back of her hand. When she finished removing all the plastic tags and folding shirts into three piles, she rang up the total--$530.78. Vivian presented her VISA card. The clerk completed the transaction and gave Vivian the receipt to sign. Then she started to put all 19 shirts into one big bag. Vivian said no, please put them into three bags because that would be easier to carry back out to the car. The young woman made a sour face, as if she had been asked to lick the floor clean. She almost threw each pile of shirts into three separate plastic bags. Vivian said thank you and picked up the bags. The young woman said nothing. Wordlessly she wiped the sweat off her forehead, pulled a shirt off the hanger for the next customer, and folded it.

33- All Bite, No Bark

All Bite, No Bark 

A New York City entrepreneur is seeking investors for his “No Bark” startup. With enough investment money, Ty Cobb says, he will be able to discover the melodies that, when played, will instantly quiet barking dogs. Because dogs hear sound frequencies that humans cannot hear, the melodies will be unheard by humans. “There’s a huge market for this service,” Cobb declared. “There’s about 30 million dogs in this country, probably 2 million right here in the city. And what do these dogs love to do more than anything? Bark, that’s what! And what do people hate more than anything? Barking dogs, that’s what!” Cobb says that he went to India to study how snake charmers control the deadly cobra with music. He figured that if they could use music to prevent a deadly cobra from striking out at humans, he could use the same music to prevent a dog from barking. So he learned how to play the pungi, the snake charmer’s flute. And he learned many of the same tunes that the snake charmers played. He returned to New York, where he practiced the tunes on his dog. At first, his dog simply barked along with the music. After hours of modifying tunes, Cobb discovered one that actually caused his dog to stop barking. He was jubilant. He had discovered a melody that would shut dogs up. He would be rich beyond his wildest dreams! Unfortunately, the melody worked on his dog, but not on his neighbor’s dog. Nor on several other dogs in the neighborhood. Cobb figures that computers will help him find the right melodies at the right frequencies to shut up any dog on Earth. “My dream, of course,” he said, “is to discover one melody that will shut up a whole block of barking dogs. That might rank right up there with the discovery of penicillin!”

32- Agencies Get Millions for Homeless

Agencies Get Millions for Homeless 

 

The Federal Department of Housing and Urban Development has awarded $5 million to three different local nonprofit organizations. The money will be distributed over a four-year period and is aimed at helping approximately 1,000 homeless people in the county of Arvada. One agency, with headquarters in Woodbridge, is slated to receive $1.5 million. The agency director says that they will focus their resources on educating the homeless. “We will probably build another school-home with this money,” he said. “A school-home is exactly what it sounds like. It is a school and a home. We have already built four school-homes throughout the county. We get the homeless off the street, and we educate them so they don't have to return to the street. We teach them how to be auto mechanics, plumbers, landscapers, painters, carpenters, bricklayers, electricians, and air-conditioning repairmen. “You wouldn't believe the success that we have had. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, our office air-conditioning went out. My secretary called a repairman. The repairman was one of our first homeless students. He now owns his own air-conditioning business, plus two houses, two cars and a boat! He has a dozen employees. Holy cow! He's doing better than I am. He fixed our air-conditioning for free. I think I might sign up for the air-conditioning class myself.”

31- Adventurer Disappears

Adventurer Disappears 

Steve Magellan, world-famous adventurer, has been missing for two days. The man who soared around the world by himself in a balloon took off in a single-engine airplane from a private airport in Nevada. He left at noon for a three-hour flight. The weather was perfect. There were no storms in the area. He took no emergency provisions. Presumably, he considered his flight to be little different from a trip to the market for a quart of milk. He didn’t file a flight plan, so exactly where he went is unknown. Searchers are combing a 200 by 200 mile area by air. The terrain is high desert, with lots of ravines. “It would be very easy for a small plane like that to remain undetected for months,” said an officer from the Civil Air Patrol. The plane, like most small planes, did not have a “black box,” which sends out radio signals in event of a crash. A friend of Magellan’s said that he usually wears a watch that can send radio signals. But no signals were coming from that watch, if he was in fact wearing it. Magellan had a knack for walking away uninjured from accidents, so friends and relatives did not seem to be overly alarmed. His younger sister said that it wouldn’t surprise her if he came strolling out of the desert in a day or two. Magellan made his fortune in real estate when he was young, and has devoted the rest of his life to pursuing world records in ballooning, piloting airplanes, and driving fast cars. The purpose of his afternoon flight was to find a suitable area to try to set a new land speed record for automobiles.

30- Actor Tries to Kill Himself

Actor Tries to Kill Himself 

Actor Brett Maverick, the lead actor in many movies, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Hospital after his brother called an ambulance. Luke had found Brett in a dazed state with both of his wrists slashed. A hospital spokesperson said that the cuts on his wrists were superficial, and that Brett was in good condition. The actor has starred in many romantic comedies. He often portrays a character who meets a girl who doesn’t like him at first but falls in love with him by the end of the movie. In fact, a real-life romance occurred in his last movie. His costar, actress Katherine Hepburn, fell in love with Brett and moved in with him. This occurred despite the fact that Katherine was engaged to wed Richard Burton, another well-known actor. Burton, heartbroken, told the media that he was going to become a Buddhist monk. Unfortunately for Brett, Katherine recently made another movie with actor Errol Flynn. This movie, “Love in Baghdad,” is a drama involving a married couple who are separated by terrorists. Katherine told Brett she was going to “visit” Errol on his 200-foot yacht after filming was finished. But soon afterward, TV entertainment shows like “Access Hollywood” and “Entertainment Tonight” showed photos and videos almost daily of Katherine and Errol hugging, kissing, dancing, and shopping. “Brett couldn’t take it anymore,” said Luke. “He was ready to settle down with Katherine. He was going to quit acting. He had told her that he planned to buy a ranch in Wyoming for the two of them. Just them, the blue sky, the meadows, and the cows and the sheep, for the rest of their lives.”

29- A Year with No TV

A Year with No TV 

Starting in February 2009, broadcasts of all TV signals will be digital, replacing current analog signals. For people who have cable or satellite TV, this is a non-issue, because their reception will not be affected. But people who use rabbit ears or outside antennas won’t be able to receive the new digital signals. They’ll have to buy a converter for each TV, which will cost about $50 each. For Chris, that was too much. Instead, Chris was simply going to give his two TVs away to a thrift shop. Then he would wait until the prices went way down on digital tuner TVs, and buy one when the price was right. He loaded the TVs into his car. The lady at the thrift shop wasn’t interested at first. She changed her mind when he said that they were only 13” TVs, and that they worked perfectly. He was relieved when she accepted them. Had she not, he would have had to deposit them at a hazardous waste facility, which meant waiting in line, in his car, for hours on end. Chris got home feeling good. Now he was going to enjoy at least a year of no TV. The “idiot box” was a good name for that waste of electricity. He felt like a new man for having got rid of his two TVs. When Donna called that night, he proudly told her the news. Donna, whose native language was Chinese, was not happy. “What do you mean, you have no TV?” she yelled over the phone. “How are you going to teach me anything when I call to ask you about new vocabulary on the 11 o’clock news?” She had a few more things to say. Chris sighed. When she finished, he promised her he would buy a new digital TV the very next day.